Chasing happiness: why it backfires
Defining the word happiness has been part of a debate that has lasted hundreds of years.
It all started with the word ‘hap’ which signified simply
luck or chance.
Is that what it is then? Is happiness brought to us by luck? Do we not have a say in it?
If that was the case then it would be clear why we so often hear the association of the word happiness to phrases such as:
‘I would be so happy if I won the lottery’
‘I would be so happy if I had a mansion’
and other comments of similar nature which imply chance and no action on our part.
Chasing happiness is often, however, the greatest cause of failure in achieving it. As soon as we were born we were filled with ideas and expectations that were not part of our birthing baggage.
They were added as a welcome to the world gift and they were handed over to us with trembling hands, moving towards us with pounding and hoping hearts, from our parents and those who were there to love us
All good wishers that would sincerely want our life to be full of joy and as painless as possible.
And this way our chasing begins…. Chasing….. an infinite word, one that has no end. And that is exactly what we achieve, an endless search for something that all along did not need to be chased because it was right there, within our own soul and mind.
And until we open that special set of eyes we were given at birth, to thrive and excel on our earthly journey we will keep chasing a concept that really has been given a meaning that it is not. Life coaching helps us uncover what is innate
We will rely on external and short-lived forms of gratification that we will disastrously mistake for happiness until the realisation that within a short period of time it will be no more. And we will be off, chasing again.
This time we will want bigger and greater and we will get there to be thrown in exactly the same position we started from, but this time more disillusioned than ever before.
Full of willingness, we will get up and chase again for exactly the same outcome and the disillusionment will turn into sadness and the sadness in depression in a fast spinning spiral of destruction.
Is that it then? Are we doomed to suffer? Is happiness just an illusion offered to us like a man experiencing a mirage, where he sees water in the desert that allows him to keep going?
Well dear friends… I have good news for you, happiness is real, and it belongs to all of us. All that separates us from it is simply a thought.
Happiness is not where we can freely see it, it is beyond that darkness we are not even aware of. Not until we catch a glimpse of that flash of bright light that we see within our hearts, there it’s where it all starts.
Out of our heads and fully in our hearts. There is when our awakening begins…. And once we get that glimpse there is no turning back.
Happiness is there available now, for you, for our children, for our friends. It is there in endless abundance well within our reach and independent from any external source, in this space between thoughts is where life becomes magic.
I have learnt to see the magic and apply it to my life, this is the most precious lesson I have ever learnt and it is ready for you to tap into.
I was not always so unflappable. I spent years between a steady feeling of being ok to full blown depression. Until one day I felt a light switch turning on in my head and telling me: ‘You know that you are in charge of this shit?’ and that thought by itself was my new leverage
My search started and it took me to the solid understanding that spending more time in thoughts that feel good, while being at the same time grateful for the thoughts that didn’t feel so good, was the best discovery I ever made.
It looks so easy yet so profound I guess I would say it’s simple but not easy.
We have an average of 48 thoughts per minute, imagine if we had to pay attention to each single one of them. Imagine how much energy that would take, or how easy it would be to lose our marbles. We don’t because our intelligence system is designed to filter through them.
On that principle, we can add an extra filter keep the positive thought and thank the others and let them go. Always acknowledge your choice. Always value the worth of your thoughts.
Sharing what I discovered is one of the purposes that a life worth living is all about.
At the end of today’s message, I have shown you how quickly we can switch on the happiness button.
When the chasing is made redundant we find the real happiness. Now, through a thought, that is all it takes.
One thought….
Certified Transformative Coach with 25 years of experience helping people live a better life.
