Relationship Coaching

Relationship Coaching

 

Professional life coach

Hello.
My name is Jason Shiers.

During our relationship coaching sessions, I will help you see the simple source of all disconnection, and how to start to have better communication and intimacy with your partner.

After this, we work with the present moment which creates a deeper connection with each other.

This has had profound effects on all relationships including my own. This way of looking at relationships opens our eyes and the potential of a greater level of intimacy than we ever thought possible before.

This is for people who really want to know themselves and their partner and are not afraid to look within for the answers.

 

 

What is Relationship Coaching?

Relationship coaching is like hiring a 3rd set of eyes on your relationship. Together we can create a great loving connection, or we can end a relationship gracefully.

This is obviously a decision you will have to make, but whichever one you chose I will help you create the outcome you want.

Like with all my life coaching, you may find this takes a different shape to what you think coaching is about, and my best advice is to remain open-minded to having a new experience, and not to judge the process.

What causes distance and breakups in relationships?

It is simpler than you think. Mostly it’s down to believing what you think about your partner, their actions or their lack of actions doesn’t fit in with your beliefs about how things ‘should’ be. This often leads to thinking one or some of the following:

  • If only she/he would do more of
  • If she/he would only see things this way
  • I need her/him to work less and help me more
  • I wish she/he would turn off their phone and be more present
  • If only our relationship was like when we first met
  • I wish she/he would stop doing that
  • Or more variations of…
What causes distance and breakups in relationships?

If you want to start committing to yourself –
Contact a Certified Life Coach Now 0161 408 2874

or send us a message




    These thoughts often lead to feelings of distance, resentment, anger and frustration to a point where both partners live in their head constantly in a state of a judgement of each other. Now putting the ‘yes buts’ to one side does it makes sense that if you are thinking those things. You will feel that way Something to ponder.

     

    Problems in relationships that can be fixed with relationship coaching

    Wouldn’t it be great if:

    • You had more loving feelings towards your partner
    • You could understand & see each other’s point of view
    • You could experience more intimacy and closeness
    • You could Spend more time doing fun things
    • You felt happier and at peace with your relationship

    If what I stated above is true for you – that your feelings make sense based on your thinking about your partner, would it not also make sense that if you thought about them differently, your feelings would be different?

    So, a good question is, what needs to change?

    Expectations – the creator of misery and resentment

    Expectations are thoughts about how you think things ‘should’ be, in order to make you happy. Like in the examples above If only he/she would “insert behaviour here” then I would be happy.

    Well if someone else is responsible for making you happy you’re in trouble! What I do know is that you have the capacity to make yourself happy, you were born with it.

    Many of us spend a lifetime taking on other people’s values and beliefs about how somethings should be, we witness parents, stay together in misery, separate, argue and we make decisions about how relationships should be.

    We get influenced by social media and influential people in our life’s and continue to build meaning into relationships.

    Expectations – the creator of misery and resentment in relationships

    The good and the bad:

    You are the creator of your own happiness and your own well-being. So, what has to change is you, no one else. No shiny object and no body shape, no behaviour or relationship can make you happy.

    On the flipside of this, the great realisation is that if you can make you happy, you will never be reliant on someone else for your own happiness, and you cannot be affected by them (unless you choose to!)

    When you understand where your partner is – you show up as a different person

     

    First steps in relationship coaching

    First steps in relationship coaching

    How to recognise your feelings

    Often when I ask clients “How are you feeling?” they answer, “I think I am feeling…” Many people know the basics, anger, sadness, happiness, joy, but rarely they know the difference between shame and guilt, or empathy and compassion.

    During the process of coaching, we will learn to recognise feelings instinctively and connect them with thoughts. So, It comes naturally to have a deep knowing what is going on within your own body.

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    If you want to start committing to yourself –
    Contact a Certified Life Coach Now 0161 408 2874

    Perspective – how to see more than just one!

    When couples come to relationship coaching they often have a limited perspective on their situation. It is really difficult to see another perspective when you are caught up in your head, in your angry or frustrated feelings, when your partner is not behaving in a way you think they should.

    You will never really see or feel compassion for them.

    So where does different perspective come from? Once you realise that you are living in the feeling of your thinking, there is often a great relief from anger, frustration, resentment and bitterness. When I say ‘realise’ I mean REALISE! I mean a deep understanding, a feeling of OH! That’s what you mean, not a ‘yeah I get that but’.

    Perspective – how to see more than just one!

    However, keep in mind that when you are in a neutral state, realising that you are the creator of your own happiness, you will have the ability to be curious and kind, to inquire about your partner’s needs and stay present, and to be compassionate towards them. Realising that we’re all human we will often get caught up in life. Often its great to laugh at how we get caught up in thought and then realise “it’s just a thought”

     

    How is connection & Intimacy created?

    How is connection & Intimacy created?

    Often couples say “we need to communicate better” and as George Pransky says in The Relationship Handbook, “It’s a good thing your communication is poor, just think how terrible you’d feel if you could get your ill feelings across to each other”

    Connection and Disconnection is just an illusion, it is a manifestation of thought We are all connected and only separated by thought. Intimacy is our natural state when we are not consumed by our thoughts.

    When we are together with our partner we’re not judging or applying meaning to thoughts love flows through us, we can have deep compassion, and listen with curiosity and experience intimacy.

    Lasting Change rather than a temporary patch up

    Once you have had the above realisations, it is impossible to forget. This will change your relationships with children, work, parents and family also. You cannot forget, this approach isn’t a tip or trick, it doesn’t require you getting into state.

    Love is the answer to everything

    When the ill feelings you have created a pass, and you’ve centred yourself in being of value to your partner things will flow more freely, you will feel more connected and happier in general.

    Lasting Change rather than a temporary patch up

    If you want to start committing to yourself –
    Contact a Certified Life Coach Now 0161 408 2874

    Amy Macmillan
    Amy Macmillan
    2022-09-21

    Jason helped me in a time where I felt like I wasn’t ever going to feel myself again. He helped me see that I didn’t need to feel the way I felt forever and that there was a way out. I am so grateful for how selfless and caring he was at this time in my life and I will never ever forget that! His calming words and the peaceful space he creates on a call left me feeling that little bit better each time we spoke. I know he’s always a text away and he holds a special place in my heart for helping me through such a difficult time. Thanks Jason x

    Lois Wilson
    Lois Wilson
    2022-09-15

    I stumbled across Jason on a podcast group recommended by a friend.
    As soon as I listened I knew that I had to contact and work with Jason.
    I came looking for help, guidance with a situation that was causing me physical stress related symptoms. Covid had just started and everything around me was uncertain, confusing and painful at times. Jason gave me a grounding to work from and shared his understanding of the 3 principles and life experience and knowledge.
    It was a gradual process but I did start to feel that everything was and would be Ok.
    I became more comfortable in my circumstances and very unexpectedly, that resulted in many of my stress illnesses disappearing!
    I came away learning more about how I viewed the world or myself which was the growth I truly needed.

    Jason also supported me through one of the most difficult times in my life when I lost my husband to alcohol related illness. I came through that experience with beautiful memories and a deep gratitude and the ability to support my two children.

    I have since gone on to achieve 2 promotions and now working full time in a role that I didn’t see within my reach, I’m now carving out a job role that’s building me skill set and confidence. I have found connections with my colleagues, patients and family.
    As many have said ..
    A life changing experience!

    I have recommended his articles podcast and website to colleges patients and friends.
    Jason has a professional and natural
    gentle nature, but also feels like a friend for life.

    Ed Coss
    Ed Coss
    2022-09-14

    Working with Jason really helped me see how a simple change in thinking, mindset and outlook could really help improve my mental health, wellbeing with results that are reflected in improvements in relationship, business and general attitude to life. Would highly recommend.

    Francesa Addabbo
    Francesa Addabbo
    2018-10-03

    I am a coach and as a coach I act on what I preach. I chose Jason as my coach as I had been given some great feedback by other people we both knew. He was described to me as a non conventional ground breaking coach. I liked the sound of this. I did not have a particular issue to work on but I was confortable in the knowledge that our sessions would develope as they were meant to. After all I knew how to guide a session. What happened after my first session is quite extraordinary. I completely reviewed my coaching skills and decided to let Jason mentor me. His coaching techniques are truly ground breaking. he is able to go so deeply into a conversation that he allows his clients to feel confortable in shearing dreams and ideas that they didn’t even know they had. Deep coaching is invaluable for me now. I could not go back to my old ways to look at coaching. Jason allowed change in me that I didn’t believe I needed and yet it transformed my life in ways I will be grateful to him forever. He is so skilled that you don’t realise how deeply into your mind he is looking until you see the change in you already unfolding. I recommend Jason as one of, if not the best coach I have ever worked with. I truly believe in the benefits of coaching but Jason’s coaching is a good few notches above average.

    Timothy Russel
    Timothy Russel
    2018-09-06

    I came to Jason to get help with my wife!! yes i know crazy as it sounds, we ended up having relationship coaching and all i can say is WOW! both of us in such a short time got back on track, we started communicating more clearly and saw things from each others perspective much easier. I realised that it was human to get caught up in thoughts, in life from time to time, but also that it was ok and that if i didn’t judge that, things were not so bad. I am so happy I made this decision as this has now saved my marriage.

    Dominic Taylor
    Dominic Taylor
    2018-09-06

    Deep Life Coaching indeed! as Jason says I came with 1 thing but ended up with so much more. It is really strange what happens when someone knows what questions to ask!! Often during coaching I was stumped, I just really had never seen things the way they were presented to me. What I found was that just a simple change in perspective made such a huge difference to my life. I never realised that it was just my thinking that was causing me to see the world in the way I did – I Realised what I had been chasing through things for so long was happiness and that happiness was available right now, so no need to look for it anymore!

    Nigel Chivers
    Nigel Chivers
    2018-09-06

    Jasons weight loss mindset transformational package has really helped me see where I was held back with my weight. I only thought I wanted to make a few small changes with some health coaching but the clear vision I got about my relationship with food has opened my mind to a new way of life. I will continue to work with Jason as this stuff runs deep and could last a lifetime!

    Tina Baker
    Tina Baker
    2018-09-04

    I worked with Jason on his business start up to success package (business coaching) when I was wanting to start my new venture but I was really stuck with branding, how to present myself in the world, did I need a website, where would my clients come from etc. I Think its a pretty standard set of worries but there was so much to work out. Not only did I get my branding down but I worked on my own personal fears, and got a clear vision and some realistic expectations to work towards. I was happy to give Jason a review because i have come so far in the 6 months we have been working together.

    Andy Gillott
    Andy Gillott
    2018-09-03

    As a life coach myself it can be really hard to find a coach to work with, and when I read Jasons website I just knew there was something more for me in that. I am always looking to better myself but I find that all the work I have done leaves me a little picky and critical. Jason was able to see past the BS and help me move forward on the journey I am on. I continue to work with Jason and when I get stuck with a client he is the first port of call for me.

    Melvyn Rattenbury
    Melvyn Rattenbury
    2018-09-03

    Jason has been outstanding in helping me change my life – relationships, work and personal life have become so much more natural to me now.