The Raaar of Coaching

The title of this article somehow leads to the understanding that social media is responsible for creating this coaching frenzy. I guess I ought to explain that this is not technically correct. All realities are created through thought and brought to life by level of consciousness and therefore social media is not really to blame.

Regardless of that, the sharing of information through social media generates a faster and wider spread of knowledge that guides our thoughts towards specific ideas that become popular, for example if many people you know like something, it must be true, right? And if they share it! Well it must be right J

Social media is a very easy and popular way to advertise yourself to people. Business Coaching businesses seem to be growing at an incredible speed, possibly given the insatiable demand from people that crave fulfilment, career advances, financial freedom, outstanding relationships and whatever else is allegedly needed to create a life that supplies an infinite quantity of happiness.

Once we have established the need for a coach we then start the search for the perfect one. The criteria we use to choose is most likely determined by the way the promises advertised resonate with us.

So, we start scanning through a variety of picture based ads of laptops on a beach and a pair of flip-flops, a Facebook live from a beautiful mansion with a swimming pool, a beautiful girl in a bikini or a guy with perfectly sculpted abs.

Followed by numerous promises of 6 figure incomes and the life of our desires in 30 days. Even worse, how to become a coach in 10 weeks, or take a life time journey of change in 3 short videos, you get the idea, selling the illusion that people who desperately want something can have it without the real journey.

Many will persuade us that they have discovered the holy grail and promise that if we follow their 6-step process they will give us the absolute guarantee of the promised outcome.

Some of the posts used to allure us into buying into their programmes will sound as follows:

  • I used to live on the street, now I’m a millionaire – this is how I did it
  • I used to be obese, now I’m super ripped and this this is how I did it
  • I used to be poor and stuck in a job I hated – now I work when I want and choose the income
  • You too can be a coach in 7 days – all you need to do is…

All this only serves the purpose of selling the illusion and tapping into the biggest downfall…the one I call:

The short cut

Most human beings, before awakening are wired up to want the most for the least, and typically people search for life coaching because they think something is missing in their business, life, relationship, health etc. They have been stuck on a merry-go-round for most of their life trying these outside-in approaches to change.

Doing deep inner change work can be scary because it requires getting out of your comfort zone, it requires an honest look at who you are, and often for many people that can bring fear of shame and judgement, two of the biggest fears. So, people stay in an unhappy situation trying to use willpower and short cuts to create the change they so desire.

The Illusion of a great life coming from outside of you

This illusion is so powerful in human beings that there are million pound industries that are built on it.

The same illusion that feeds on the words ‘If Only… I Would’. If only I could get, be, have, be like, get more of, I would be happy, rich, wealthy, more productive etc.

There is only one place happiness and security come from and that place is within, well planted inside the deepest part of our soul.  We have just spent way too much of our time jumping and dancing at Tony Robbins’ events, listening to nonsense on how to go about getting rich and famous to the point that we have lost track of who we are and how to connect to our own inner wisdom and purpose.

Ask yourself this question – What are you really chasing?

 I have experienced this both personally and through many clients I have worked with. I am now, with experience and a deeper understanding, able to distinguish this pattern from a mile away. And it is always the same outcome. People are chasing on the outside something that they think it is missing from the inside in order to feel fulfilled.

The reality, however is very different. We already have all we need available to us. It is given to us as a birth right. Still we don’t see that and we blindly get caught up chasing something that we believe is going to give us what we need, not knowing that what we chase is just noise that only results in pushing us further and further away from the truth.

Each time we get to where we think we are going, or want to be, we will find a need for a new goal. Success without fulfilment is so empty. You can check this out for yourself with the Why questions. Drilling down each time

  • What is it you really want?
  • Why – because it will give me xyz
  • Why do you want xyz – because it will give me abc
  • Why do you want abc – because it will make me feel this or that

If you keep going with this you will find everything you are chasing is just an illusion of perceived happiness.

Imagine that you are going to spend your whole life chasing something you think is going to give you a certain feeling, that you already have right now, today inside yourself.

You don’t need any click funnels, you don’t need a 6-figure beach working lifestyle or a mansion in Beverly Hills with a Ferrari to find this happiness, you don’t need a business or a relationship, you just need to slow down and listen to your inner wisdom.

The future and the past are just illusions, only brought to life by thought and consciousness. The factual reality is that they don’t even exist and therefore living life chasing a feeling you think you are going to get when you achieve something is taking you so far away from today!

True Happiness is ONLY! Available within

I have had this knowledge for a long time but it rested on an intellectual level of understanding which meant that like most I also kept the chasing going.

It happens to many of us to have a head level understanding, and to agree with others that voice the concept loudly from a stage or in passing or in teaching. We might nod believing we understand but what we hear is just spoken words. Words are form that cannot always have the capacity to contain concepts of such life changing magnitude. These concepts are formless and can only ever be ours when they penetrate us at a deep soul level.

This kind of understanding is the only one that will lead us to the true spiritual connection to the universe. This will bring us complete faith in the real deep knowing that happiness comes from within.

Misplaced desire is the root of all unhappiness

So, whether you are searching for finances or weight loss, business growth or relationships, the outcome is the same. If it is not in line with your life’s purpose, and your inner knowing, then the fruits of your labour will be sour.

Money equals security myth

I have lost count of the amount of conversations I have had where people are chasing perceived security. It is often masked by the ‘security for children’ story. Security comes from love, and love only. What children need is consistency, curiosity, freedom of expression to be who they are and balance. Real security is free. It cannot be bought with money.

So, what is the solution?

There is only one real journey to go on which is the inside-out journey. You see what I found on my own journey was that whatever I chased, eventually left me and never fulfilled anything.

To give you a tangible example I will mention my weight loss journey. While I stayed focused on the weight, I lived in my head, angry and resentful at the world, unable to lose weight long term, periodically having small bouts of success (numbers changing on a scale – was how I measured success).

I was so lost, I figured that changing the outside the inside would follow, and the reality was that the more I focused on the outside, the more bitter I became on the inside. The reason I was fixated on losing weight was all along that somehow it would make me happy!

The only way I lost my weight was when I surrendered and realised that it was an inside job. Working on the inside, resentments, limiting beliefs, stories I told myself about the world, about people in my life. Slowly as I freed myself with the inner work and some great people in my life, people who were willing and able to hold me at that deep level of shame, guilt and criticism of myself, I changed.  While the freedom came from the inside, the change followed on the outside.

This is the same results regardless of the example. If you are chasing money, relationships or weight loss they are all manifestations of the same condition. Deep inner work is the solution to finding peace and purpose in your life.