Why you can’t lose weight with effort

Why you can’t lose weight with effort

If you look around the internet, social media, personal training, blogs, weight loss coaching, websites etc you will find more and more of the same, in one form or another, it seems that the more effort you put in, the more you will get out, this blog is not about doing less, but it is about it being effortless when you are on the right track, and why anything that feels like a battle of wills, will never be successful. Kinda like stretching a rubber band, it will always go back to where it started.

Everybody would love an effortless weight loss journey right? Because we associate the word effortless with easy and traditionally there is a belief that weight loss is hard, challenging and difficult. For me it seemed like I had spent a lifetime in an effort to change my body with very few or little results, or like the rubber band, no matter what I believed was happening, it always bounced back to the or even worse sometimes. Hence why I love being a weight loss coach, helping people uncover effortless success.

Underneath the desire to lose weight is misunderstanding, that becomes the starting point for the desire, it usually is one of the following:

  • If I could lose weight I would feel better
  • If I could lose weight, I would get a better relationship
  • If I could lose weight, I would be more attractive
  • If I could lose weight, i would be more healthy
  • And on, and on, and on…
  • What is your flavour of this?

I am not saying these are not true and maybe what materialises, what I am saying though is that when happiness looks like it comes from changing something on the outside, ie your body or your relationships, it will always feel like effort, and the attempts will be futile.

Effortless weight loss comes as a result of clearing up the misunderstanding, which brings happiness now, happiness for no good reason, in all areas, not the other way around.

A distorted relationship with our body image is what has developed via what we have been educated to believe about our behaviour (the weight gain and eating), the actual cause of the misuse of food and lack of self care is the dis-ease within ourselves. The system is working perfectly, we use food to cope with our feelings of lack, in some area or another or all areas of life, could be trauma, abuse, relationships, money etc, everyone has a different flavour of suffering.

It’s difficult as most human beings are lost in the material paradigm of change, ie if we get our ducks in a row, we will be ok. Then most / many people are in the business of charging money to perpetuate and further the misunderstanding, so much so that we have become conditioned and believe that the only solution is what they are offering. This is common and takes a willingness to look within, which is a brave thing to do, changing the direction of your efforts, to introspection rather than looking to the outside world for what it is you really want.

So how does effortless weight loss work?

We first look at the misunderstanding of how your own mind works, who you really are, its a completely different direction to look in. So many people come to me wanting to lose weight, and I am so excited… wow that is all they want? They would be happy with that, but I know there is so much more on offer, most people get what they came for + so much more they didn’t bargain for or know exists!

I love the Rumi poem from Rumi’s little book of Life:

If one were to tell an unborn child that outside the womb, there is a glorious world with green fields and lush gardens, high mountains and vast seas, with a sky lit by the sun and the moon, the unborn would not believe such absurdity. Still in the dark womb, how could he imagine the indescribable majesty of this world? In the same way, when the mystics speak of worlds beyond scent and colour, the common man deafened by greed and blinded by self-interest cannot grasp their reality.

This is what the potential is for my online weight loss coaching clients. Yet they do not even know it and why would they? They have often spent a lifetime struggling with diets and the external body, toxic relationships and family struggles, the weight gain is just a symptom of the misunderstanding, and the mind body system is working perfectly, food has become a comfort, to quieten down a busy mind, the system is working exactly as it should.

If you would like to know more about how this all works, or would love to explore what effortless weight loss may feel like, feel free to contact me for a conversation about it or look at one of our weight loss coaching packages. 

Mostly when I mention weight loss to people after a few sessions, they say, oh yes, it’s happening… it is no longer the focus.. Yet its coming off. We can then make decisions and stick to them, ie I am now going to eat this way… and see what happens, and really eat this way, not give up after 2 days if the scale goes up.

They have started to see beyond the beliefs that hold them back, old stories about themselves and weight loss, relationships and money, things have changed. The more peace we have inside the more effortless our change becomes, weight gain is the innocent solution to a deeper misunderstanding, therefore unpicking that misunderstanding makes weight loss effortless.

There is so much more to this, but it really is a joy to experience.